Kyle Thomas

The Website of Kyle Thomas (KyleWith)

I want to change the world

I want to change the world.

I want to change the world for the better. Leave it a better place than when I showed up.

It is a weird feeling. It is a feeling of an undeniable drive to do something bigger than myself. It consumes my thoughts. It steals my energy and drains my emotions.

The problem is I don’t yet know what that is.

The first thing I have to come to grips is what this actually means to change the world.

A key lesson I have learned is that if I change one person’s outlook on life then I have changed the world.

A statement like wanting to change the world has the connotation of wanting to make a global impact but that doesn’t have to be true. We often forget the world is made up of many things; people, animals, places, objects and so on.

If you change any of those things, you have technically changed the world from what it was before you did it.

So when a statement is made about changing the world a person must first consider what part of the world they want to change and why.

In my own case when I make the statement about changing the world it comes from that drive to do something bigger than myself.

I could simply live my life working for my own well-being. Grow my business to serve me, support me and let me do only things that benefit me. This might work for many people but it does not for me.

My businesses do serve me, support me and let me do things I enjoy but I can’t shake the feeling that I am meant to do more.

 

If you look at the front page of this website you will see the mantra: “In everything I do, I do to help people communicate around the topics, ideas, and passions they have.” I believe this wholeheartedly, but I feel like it is not defined enough yet.

I feel like I need to define my true purpose before I can attack this desire to do more and ultimately change the world, however I define it.

More to come on purpose next time…

Thoughts On How To Write A Book

Kyle Thomas Book

How do you start writing a book? Do you start with the idea you have and expand on it? Do you develop the outline of the book? Do you start with an introduction?

These are all questions I’m pondering as I get anxiety about the idea of writing another book.

I’m not a novelist, nor do I write short stories or fiction. I write creative non-fiction. Or at least that’s what I think I write.

My first book was a photo book. Stories accompanied the photos, called Yellowknife Streets. It documented the lives of many of the people living on the streets of Yellowknife at that time.

I know for that book I started writing each story that I acquired. As more acquired the book started to form into its own. I then spent time thinking about why I was doing what I was doing. What I wanted to accomplish. And what I wanted other people to understand about the book and the people in it.

This understanding of the book as a whole helped me write the introduction.

So in that case, I wrote the entire book first and the introduction last. Is that normal?

This next book that I have an idea for is also fiction but not a photo book. And it won’t feature specific people.

It will be different. For me.

I’m excited about this but also nervous. Hence the pondering, how does a person start writing a book.

Some of the tactics I ponder are:

  • Can I write the introduction first and let it guide the book?
  • Should I storyboard the rough outline I currently have knowing more will arise?
  • Can I start writing it before I’ve done all the research?
  • Should I have an editor help me figure out the outline of the book?
  • Can I add to the outline after I’ve written most of the book?
  • What does enough information look like to start writing a book?
  • Can I write the book one chapter at a time and then put it all together later?

These are all naive questions to ask. I didn’t research how to write a book. Or take a course. Or go to school for writing. Or ask a writer friend. Or have the desire to do any of those things. I just want to write.

The book I want to write follows the same principles as most of the business books I read.

What I have learned from those books is that I should know what I want the reader to learn. Have a general outline. And throughout the book have each chapter build on the last but also stand on its own.

From my general understanding of these books. It is best to intertwine the information about that chapter with a case study of it in practice. Doing this I assume gives you a better chance of keeping the attention of the reader.

This poses another question.

  • Is there a simple formula I can follow for writing each chapter of the book?

Again, these are the questions I am pondering. This is my own adventure into writing something longer than a blog post.

I don’t expect to come to an answer quickly.

And it sounds cliche, but the idea of writing out these questions helps me see what I need to overcome.

In closing, I’m reminded of a Hemingway quote: “All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”

My Antisocial Running Regiment

Since posting my long piece on my personal health changes I have been thinking more and more about why I run.

Running for me has become my activity of choice for getting my blood moving and heart pumping. I love the feeling of running while I’m doing it. And the feeling of accompaniment when I’m done, but I’ve also been very protective of my running time.

Over the last severals months, I’ve been asked to go running with other people. Sometimes on the weekends and sometimes during the week. Yet I have always declined. And it makes me feel awkward.

It is not that I don’t want to be with other people or that I’m too self-conscious I don’t think I could keep up. It’s that running for me is a very personal and scheduled activity.

In this past few weeks, I’m come to describe my approach to running as a very utilitarian activity.

Running as a leisurely activity still doesn’t compute for me. I can’t bring myself to go for a run in the middle of the day on a whim.

I don’t run at random. I don’t run for the fun of it. I don’t run to waste time.

I run because of science. I run because I’m doing “X” for a certain amount of time to get to “Y”. I run because I’ve learned I need to exert more energy to improve and maintain a healthy self.

Yes, I sound like a robot but that is how my logical brain works. And how I’ve come to fit something I never use to do into a daily routine.

The hardest part for me while picking up running was giving myself the permission to do it. And the best way I found I could do that was by telling myself I’m going to do it first thing in the morning for 6 days a week.

Running first thing in the morning is great for me because I’m a morning person. I’m on the treadmill or outside by 5:50 am. It also means that running doesn’t interfere with any other scheduled activities in my day.

I live by my routine and to break it is very hard for me. So to go for a random run in the middle of my day would throw me off. And I like my structured routine. I do allow for flexibility in that routine. But when it comes to something as important as being physically activity I am now determined to keep to my regiment. So even if plans in the day or evening change I know I did my exercise and don’t have to stress about it.

So while I may shift into leisurely running with other people, when summer comes perhaps. For now, I’ll stick to my regiment.

At the same time, I’m curious to know how other people have dealt with similar internal struggles? Do you follow a regiment and running socially? Is it possible? Am I anti-social?

On Beating the January Slump and Thinking Positively

Yesterday I was asked what was I looking forward to in the close future projects or events coming up. I sat with a dumb look on my face with no reasonable answer.
 
This bothered me.
 
There are many projects both internal and external in my life that I need and want to work on. Being a self-employed person I always feel like I’m on the cusp of my capacity with inquiries coming in. I’m blessed in this circumstance. I am also an idea-generating entrepreneur who has internal battles about finding the time to do more. Not to mention all the cooking I like doing and people I like spending time with.
 
So I’m not bored is my point.
Why then was I stumped to answer the simple question: what am I looking forward to?
 
I’m going to blame January. A month meant for fresh starts to the year. New beings. And time for changes. In reality, though, January is the aftermath of the build up to the Holidays. It is a time for recuperation. And that is acceptable.
 
Some will suggest that it is the lack of sunlight that causes this funk. Especially here in Yellowknife. And while this is a factor, I have never thought it affected me to a noticeable degree. I’m sleeping my seven hours a night. I’m exercising more than an hour a day. I’m eating well (not enough sometimes 😉 )and I’m even more sociable than in the past (which I’m enjoying).
 
For my workload, January has been a month of repetitive catch up after taking two weeks off. It isn’t that I’m overloaded, rather that I’m working my way through a pile of undone tasks. With the hopes of resuming a regular billable/non-billable workload.
 
When I realized I was in this routine on repeat with no outlook on the future, I wanted to correct that thinking. I then remembered something I had recently read in the book: Why People Fail: 16 Obstacles to Success and How You Can Overcome Them. The advice was to spend 10 minutes each morning thinking about a goal you wanted to achieve.
 
The notion is the more we think positively about a situation the better the outcome will be. Positive thinking influences our ambition to work towards our goals.
 
Taking that advice I’m going to spend 10 minutes each morning thinking my own immediate future. I’ll do it in complete silence with no distractions. I’ll focus positively on those micro-goals and let that positively influence my day. Letting it recharge me and excite me about archiving them.
 
Sounds like a bunch of guru mumbo jumbo but doing the opposite is a lot more obvious. When a person is constantly thinking about a bad situation and fearing an outcome you can tell. You can see how it is negatively affecting their whole person. Attitude, demeanour, language and routine.
 
So why then can’t obsessing about positive outcomes also affect a person’s self in a good way? Making them happier, more ambitious and more optimistic in every aspect of their life?
 
I say it can. And I’m going to try it.

I Made A Life Change

What no one told me before I started losing weight was that I was overweight. I would hear justifications about my size from other people: “you’re just thick”, “you’re not overweight, you just have a big frame” or “you’re just built that way”. So I never thought much about losing weight.

I still did everything I wanted to do: hiking, cutting firewood, snowmobiling, biking and so on. So I never thought I needed to lose weight. I was always self-conscious about how I looked but I was also so stubborn that society shouldn’t dictate how I needed to look. Heck, thinking about on it now, it is almost like I rebelled against the idea of bettering myself.

However, one day in about June 2016 I started walking in the evenings with my father, who is also on a journey of his own, a few times a week and from there it all just took off.

What Have I Done?

I’ve changed two things in my life over the past 6 months and I’ve done it very slowly at my own pace. And I want to stress two things first: one, I did not set out on a goal to lose weight or to feel better, I just started doing something, and two, I have no idea what weight I started at or what weight I am current at. I’ll explain why I don’t want to know my weight further down.

1. I Started Moving

Like I mentioned, I started walking with my father a couple evenings a week and slowly started doing it more frequently. My father is a fast walker so this was a good challenge for me. My shins would be burning at the end of our 4km walk but I kept at it. As I got stronger though I started to build enough of a habit that even when my father wasn’t with me I would still go and walk. When he wasn’t with me I would start to jog short stints. Very short at first. Gosh, they killed me. I’d go 20 seconds and be gassed.

Slowly I got stronger still and could go further with the jogging and it was getting addicting.

At the same time, I started mountain biking again. A friend pushed me to get out on the bike more and more. We’d do evening rides around the lake and I was taken right back to my childhood with no fear. It was a great workout for my legs and my upper body as I love throwing myself over the rough rock terrain Yellowknife so plentifully has.

As winter started to set in I was nervous I would quickly give up my new found hobby but along with this new found addiction, I found that I had crazy willpower and wouldn’t let myself stop. I pulled out my old treadmill and set it up in my room and off I went. I would mix walking and running on it every morning for 40 minutes. Nowadays I can run at about 10.75 km/h with sprints of 12.2 km/h.

Then the crazy set in. I started jogging outside in the winter. At first, it was awkward with so many layers on but now I love it! I trot along at about 8.4 km/h for 50 minutes covering about 7.07 km. Today was a cool -30ºC.

2. I Changed My Eating Habits

The second big change I made was my eating habits. Now, please keep in mind I’m not a nutritionist and I barely did any research into what I should properly be doing but obviously, something is working with only some minor changes.

First, I stopped eating so much. I use to eat huge portion sizes but I learned to stop that with a couple easy tricks:

  1. Don’t put as much on your plate to start, I found I needed way less than what I thought was a small portion. Another trick is to just use smaller plates. What we all think is a normal portion size is most likely way too big.
  2. I didn’t get seconds. It is a simple trick but willpower is a bitch, you have to fight it mentally. What I found was the better I ate and the more I worked out the better willpower I had.

Second, I slowed down! My mother and a friend or two had made comments about how fast I use to eat and that constantly stuck in my head. So when I read Foodist by Darya Pino Rose I learned some interesting information about eating. Such as how it takes the body 20 minutes to realize it is full, so slowing down helped to not over eat. I learned to put down my fork while I chewed my food to slow myself down. The whole book is very good for talking about healthy eating habits, I’d recommend it to anyone.

Third, I changed what I eat, a little bit. Obviously, this is something a person needs to do but honestly, I don’t think I cut out much I hadn’t already stopped eating. A big one for me was sugar. Cutting out sugar in simple things like my coffee, jams, peanut butter and being more conscious about what had added sugar was a defining point for me. I, at some point, stopped eating beef for some reason and started to eat more fish, although I already eat lots of lean chicken. And as surprising, as it might sound, I don’t really eat any bread.

A big change for me though when it came to eating was how much I ate out. I’ve almost completely stopped eating out as most establishments have very heavy foods and it just isn’t appetizing anymore. I still indulge once and a while, I’m not that crazy, but it is very minimal.

Cooking being a big interest of mine has really helped because the idea of using different ingredients and learning what is healthy has been a lot of fun and my cooking has dramatically improved over the last few months and I have never once felt like I’ve depriving myself of eating flavourful food.

Many might think that eating healthy is bland, boring and unenjoyable but I’m here to tell you it is certainly not. I’d actually like to explore the idea of how to work with people on eating and meal prepping because time is a luxury for some.

Also, I don’t snack. If I do, it’s an energy ball I’ve made myself.

What I Noticed About Losing Weight

When I started losing weight, eating differently and looking differently, strange things were happening. Things were different and I received some strange comments. These are some of those observations:

1. When I started to lose weight really quickly my clothes didn’t fit anymore but people advised me not to buy new clothes in case I put the weight back on. I thought this was hilariously discouraging. So what if I have to buy new clothes! I think it is more important to celebrate the small victories than to think it might all fall apart. And besides, those old clothes are hidden in my closet for the time being. I was also tired of people telling me my clothes were too baggy. I’ve now bought new pants twice in the last 6 months and dropped 5 sizes.

2. People were shocked when I didn’t eat a lot of food anymore. As if I was doing something wrong and making them feel bad about themselves. This was an odd realization for me because I try not to compare myself to others and listen to what my body is telling me.

3. No one told me when I was a bigger guy that I was overweight and they justified my size by saying “You are a big guy”. Again, this was a bit of an annoyance once I started changing. It would feel at times that people use to say that because they didn’t think I could ever change. I would’ve rathered someone been bluntly honest with me than justify it.

4. Some people think they are being supportive as I changed by being realistic and telling me eventually the weight loss will stop. While this is true and you do have to mentally prepare yourself for when that happens, if you’re like me and don’t know your weight you are motivated by just changing your lifestyle not archiving a goal this isn’t a problem.

5.Not having a goal or knowing my own weight has been the most liberating feeling ever. People always ask and each time I get to say I don’t know I feel a surge of motivation. There might be health reasons for monitoring such things but I’ve found that by not knowing and not setting any goals I’m setting myself up better for lifetime success, rather than just momentary success. I still have no plans on finding out my weight.

6. Willpower is something not everyone has. In my journey, I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have this crazy willpower. It keeps me motivated and moving when I might not want to. It also stops me from falling back into bad eating habits. I can also refuse treats without hesitation or temptation. That’s not to say I haven’t broke a couple times ;).

I still don’t fully understand why I started all of this. The running became a way for me to control my stresses, feelings, and emotions. It is now my vice for when I’m feeling conflicted or down. It helps me push through feelings and tough situations.

That said, I’ve also been inspired by others who seem to be making similar changes in their lives. And I don’t want to put them on the spot too much but Darren, Amy and Ken and Bev, just by following them on Facebook keeps pushing me as I get further into this change. And I have to thank my friend Jess, who has been inspiring me to constantly eat better and try different foods and ways of cooking.

And If I can leave you with one thing right now it would be this: we all move at our own paces in life. I didn’t write all this to be a role model, I wrote it to put my journey in words. If you want to make a change in your life start really small. Make one little change and keep doing it. Once that is a habit, move to the next thing and so one. If nothing else, all that I have done is developed new habits in my life, ones that I can’t stop now.

Thanks for reading.

I would also be remised if I didn’t mention the awesome photographer who took the before photo way back in 2015 and then these more recent ones. Samantha Stuart is a photographer here in Yellowknife who just continues to blow me away with her own dedication and determination for her craft. You rock, Sam.