Since posting my long piece on my personal health changes I have been thinking more and more about why I run.
Running for me has become my activity of choice for getting my blood moving and heart pumping. I love the feeling of running while I’m doing it. And the feeling of accompaniment when I’m done, but I’ve also been very protective of my running time.
Over the last severals months, I’ve been asked to go running with other people. Sometimes on the weekends and sometimes during the week. Yet I have always declined. And it makes me feel awkward.
It is not that I don’t want to be with other people or that I’m too self-conscious I don’t think I could keep up. It’s that running for me is a very personal and scheduled activity.
In this past few weeks, I’m come to describe my approach to running as a very utilitarian activity.
Running as a leisurely activity still doesn’t compute for me. I can’t bring myself to go for a run in the middle of the day on a whim.
I don’t run at random. I don’t run for the fun of it. I don’t run to waste time.
I run because of science. I run because I’m doing “X” for a certain amount of time to get to “Y”. I run because I’ve learned I need to exert more energy to improve and maintain a healthy self.
Yes, I sound like a robot but that is how my logical brain works. And how I’ve come to fit something I never use to do into a daily routine.
The hardest part for me while picking up running was giving myself the permission to do it. And the best way I found I could do that was by telling myself I’m going to do it first thing in the morning for 6 days a week.
Running first thing in the morning is great for me because I’m a morning person. I’m on the treadmill or outside by 5:50 am. It also means that running doesn’t interfere with any other scheduled activities in my day.
I live by my routine and to break it is very hard for me. So to go for a random run in the middle of my day would throw me off. And I like my structured routine. I do allow for flexibility in that routine. But when it comes to something as important as being physically activity I am now determined to keep to my regiment. So even if plans in the day or evening change I know I did my exercise and don’t have to stress about it.
So while I may shift into leisurely running with other people, when summer comes perhaps. For now, I’ll stick to my regiment.
At the same time, I’m curious to know how other people have dealt with similar internal struggles? Do you follow a regiment and running socially? Is it possible? Am I anti-social?